Suffering subsides with letting go of the intention to cause harm. There is no real greatness if there is no restraint.
Dhammapada 390
From one perspective the idea of restraint can seem unappealing. From another perspective restraint might seem essential. The surface appearance of things does not always reveal the true value. Just because the idea of sitting still for forty minutes, with your eyes closed, seems less fun that eating ice-cream and watching a video, does not mean those forty minutes would be wasted.
EFFECTS OF RIGHT RESTRAINT: full moon - Sunday 7th September 2025
It is good to restrain the eye. It is good to restrain the ear. It is good to restrain the nose. It is good to restrain the tongue.
DHAMMAPADA v. 360
There is so much happening in our world about which we can easly feel angry. If we try hard to not feel angry because the Buddha taught restraint is good, it is likely that anger won’t disappear; it will hide away in unawareness and resurface at another time. The Buddha did indeed teach that restraint is good. He also taught that mindfulness is good. If our efforts to be mindful are merely a mental exercise and are not including the fire we feel in our hearts when we are enraged, we may well fail. Mindfulness practice means we aim to feel the anger without becoming lost in it. Similarly with fear. Can we feel fear without becoming lost in fear. The cultivation of restraint is not the same as repression.
RIGHT COMMUNICATION: full moon – Wednesday 12th February 2025
As a beautiful flower with a delightful fragrance is pleasing, so is wise and lovely speech when matched with right action.
DHAMMAPADA v. 52
More communication is not the same thing as meaningful communication. The developers of social media have worked hard to persuade us that the more we interact and share, the better. The allure of the idea of harmonious relationships is hard to resist. Evidence, however, indicates that more talking and sharing is not always helpful. If our communications are not carefully considered, they readily lead to less harmonious relationships. The current polarisation of societies attests to this. If we don’t adequately invest in developing integrity and intentional composure – sila and indriya samvara – then we are vulnerable to being defined by the values of those around us. Sadly, and increasingly, this means the values of the casual culture. There are many who believe that being relaxed is the way to contentment. Obviously, feeling perpetually stressed is not desirable, but overcompensating by being casual about everything is also not working. Spending even a small amount of time each day in intentional quietude, disciplining attention, could, perhaps, help replace casual communication with wise speech.
BEYOND OVERWHELM: full moon – Monday, August 19th, 2024
“By endeavour, vigilance, restraint and self-control, let the wise make islands of themselves which no flood can overwhelm.”
DHAMMAPADA v 25
When so much of the world that surrounds us focusses on the opposite of restraint, it can be difficult to not feel overwhelmed by sense impressions. Where the Buddha highlights the need to develop restraint, it is not because he wants us to feel like a failure. Rather, he is pointing directly at that which is worth investing in. We have a limited amount of attention. In what do we invest our attention? The values of the ‘casual culture’ encourage us to invest in distractions which can serve the purpose of temporarily relieving us from fear and confusion. The values encouraged by our wise teachers serve an altogether different purpose. The virtues of vigilance and restraint, for example, equip us with resilience and stability, so that even when we do encounter chaos we won’t have to be defined by it.
Q: A Contemplative Perspective On Compulsive Stress Eating
(approx. 15 minutes) KEYWORDS:Q: “I know from past experiences that increased food intake never genuinely makes me feel better. Might you have any advice? Evolutionary biologists, psychologists, demonize desire, wanting, craving, wholesome desires, enemy, smoking, breaking the habit, basic skills, 5 spiritual faculties, faith, kamma, energy, intensity, embodied mindfulness, discipline attention, discernment, indriya samvara, skilful composure, containing, respecting intensity, hiri and ottappa, conscience, lokapala, protectors of the world, skilful shame and fear of the consequences of shamelessness, guilt, progress, unruly heart energy, competent, ill-will, truly responsible.